Break Through Your Threshold: Finding Peace in Chaos
By Jai Maa
I used to be a workaholic. I was that person who stayed caffeinated from sunup to sundown working really, really hard, but felt like I never got anything done. I ran a healing center, sat on the board of directors of a personal development institute, and produced art events which raised thousands of dollars for charities.
My to-do list was unending, and just as I would get one thing done, ten more items would show up on my list. The idea of taking time for myself was a joke.
Marianne Williamson, author of Everyday Grace, suggested to “Begin your day in silent meditation for just five minutes and your life is guaranteed to dramatically change for the better.”
Just five minutes? I could do that.
I resisted the urge to open up my laptop one morning and went to the living room to just, well, just sit there. This was the most agonizing five minutes of my life.
I squirmed in my chair like an antsy 5-year-old on timeout, staring at the clock and tapping my foot as I watched the minutes click by painfully slow. I felt like I was in a torture chamber.
When those awful five minutes were finally up, I ran to my laptop to check my email. I could have missed something important during that time I wasted doing nothing.
Determined to experience some kind of result, I started the next day quietly for five minutes. It was just as painful. I tried it again the following day. Still unbearable. I would just stare at the clock and feel worthless for not doing anything productive with my time. Then I asked myself a question that changed my life, “Why is it so painful to be with myself and do nothing?”
One afternoon, I heard the voice of the Divine call me from my living room, “Come sit with Me until you would rather be nowhere else.”
With my eyes bugging from my head at what I just heard, I grabbed my coffee and sat down on my sofa. I sat, and sat, and sat, and wanted to leave. I finally surrendered, closed my eyes, and went within.
There was a tornado of emotional disturbance thrashing around inside of me. I felt pain, sadness, misery, anguish, despair… I wept for hours, uncertain of what I was crying about.
Then, a peace fell upon me like I have never experienced before. I didn’t want to be anywhere else or do anything else. When I got up to do some work, I looked down at my to-do list and laughed.
Who created this mania??? My to-do list was loaded with things that did not really matter. I decided to do the things I felt were important, and I let go of everything else.
Knowing I had discovered something special, I started all of my days in quiet meditation and prayer. Fifteen minutes soon turned into an hour, and then I reached a point where I was consistently meditating for four hours every day.
The most miraculous thing happened: I accomplished ten times more in a day working a fraction of the time!
How was this happening? This was not making logical sense, and I didn’t need it to. I felt nourished and at peace, and my life became inconceivably better. Begin your day connecting with peace, and see if your life doesn’t miraculously do the same.
Enlightenment Challenge: Begin everyday quietly with yourself for five minutes. Notice your experience. Try sitting with yourself and your Divine until you want to be nowhere else. Do not give up before the miracle happens.
Contact Jai Maa at BreakThroughYourThreshold.